25 THINGS I LEARNED LAST YEAR

Another year older, another year wiser, another year closer to eternal sleep. I just turned 25, and here are some things that live in my brain now!
  1. 1.
    A house isn't a home until my "cooking" sets off the fire alarm.
    A part of getting older is getting to really know yourself.
  2. 2.
    People are less likely to sit next to you on a megabus if you look a little "off" and don't make eye contact.
    You're welcome. Have fun!
  3. 3.
    Love wins.
    Same-sex marriage became legal in every state this year! ❤️💛💚💙💜
  4. 4.
    Magic is real, and it's called a keratin treatment.
    Changed my summer, changed my LIFE.
  5. 5.
    So far, there have been 352 mass shootings in 2015. That's more than one mass shooting a day.
    So about those gun control laws...
  6. 6.
    Confidence is beautiful.
    It's easy to shit on yourself. It's also easy to send out 28 drunk snapchats. Inhibit.
  7. 7.
    Hard work, dedication, and insecurity make one hell of a team.
    Like, always shoot for confidence. But if you happen to be feeling insecure, you can make lemonade out of lemons and 2am an acceptable time to go for a jog!
  8. 8.
    Cats are afraid of cucumbers.
    What?!
  9. 9.
    Location is everything.
    I stayed in a city for a job twice. While I'm incredibly grateful for those opportunities and experiences, my heart was always in New York. I'm finally here, and I never want to leave. I'll work shitty non-theatre jobs until I die of old age or get murdered in an alley. Doesn't matter. This is home.
  10. 10.
    Bumble dates and ClassPass are fun ways to explore a new city.
    #sorrynotsorry 🐝
  11. 11.
    If you get a rotisserie chicken from Key Foods, you might also get food poisoning for a couple of days.
    Heads up.
  12. 12.
    Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a 1 bedroom apt with A/C.
    My goals are simple. My goals are real.
  13. 13.
    The weather can influence the stock market and how well people tip 😱
    Check out Leonard Mlodinow's "Subliminal" for more info about the power of your unconscious mind!
  14. 14.
    If there's a grill in your front yard, and your town gets 6' of snow in a month, you will most likely end up with a lopsided grill.
    I made it through Boston's #snowpocalypse, and I still feel like I need to unthaw.
  15. 15.
    More than 100 unarmed people of color were killed by the police in 2014.
    Please pull your head out of your asshole if you think that this isn't horrifying. Or if your tendency is to blame the victim. Innocent people are being murdered by people that are supposed to protect and serve. Racism is rampant in this county, and it's not going away until we ALL WAKE THE FUCK UP. #BlackLivesMatter. Say it loud, say it proud.
  16. 16.
    Not all heroes wear capes. Some heroes wear Senator Elizabeth Warren's personal wardrobe.
    Is it possible for a person to be senator, president, and our collective spirit guide all at the same time? I nominate mind ninja/warrior/modern goddess Senator Elizabeth Warren. We need a hero.
  17. 17.
    Players gonna play, haters gonna hate.
    It's basically a Taylor Swift lyric, but it's foolproof. You can't please everyone. You can't change people (okay not totally true because same-sex marriage became legal this year!) But you get my point. Life's short, and there are plenty of wonderful humans out there that actually deserve your time and energy. Stop wasting it. If someone's treating you like seamless, take a deep breath, ground yourself, and say it with me: "Bye, Felicia."
  18. 18.
    Crop tops are amazing.
    My body has looked this way since I was about 14, but I only recently learned to really love and own it. Seeing more women of various sizes in the media probably helped. Feeling healthy and strong probably helped. Giving up trying to turn myself into some idealized and unrealistic version of what a woman "should" look like definitely helped. Some kind of combo. Either way, crop tops are super fun! 💁🏻
  19. 19.
    It's easy to get kicked out of a bar.
    Just call the bouncer a bitch. Even if you meant it as a joke, he will not laugh, and he will kick you right on out of that bar, missy!
  20. 20.
    Women are paying more than men for a lot of the same products and services.
    It's called the "pink tax," "sexism," and "a bunch of bullshit."
  21. 21.
    You're not exercising after a boozy brunch.
    Do it before, or you're not doing it at all. It's time we stop kidding ourselves.
  22. 22.
    Getting Amy Schumer to be your friend and boss is really tough.
    Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
  23. 23.
    Space savers mean nothing.
    NEW YORK IS AMAZING I LOVE NOT DRIVING
  24. 24.
    Youth's a stuff will not endure.
    I used to look forward to getting older. Now, I play Cher's "If I could turn back time" and T Swift's "22" over and over in my head as I wonder what could have been. Am I too old to go to Bonnaroo? Should I have double majored? Why didn't I do more internships before "unpaid" and "college credit" became dirty words? In what world was acting a stable career path, and why wasn't I more practical about learning other skills? Should I have gotten more piercings?C'est la vie ✨
  25. 25.
    If globe gets warmer by 2°C, we are all doomed.
    None of this will matter because flooding and drought will kill us all!