Childhood Cruelties I Will Never Forgive Or Forget

  1. Michael Lemon who was my one true love and proposed to me with a ring pop in preschool only to turn on me in kindergarten and pull my skirt off on the playground
  2. Fucking Nick in preschool who tried to stick his tongue in my mouth then lied about it
  3. Fucking Nick again who stole all my stuff and pushed me into the sand until I cried on volcano day
  4. Whoa did Nick like me?
  5. GREGORY who was the first to call me midget in first grade
    Caught on like wildfire and I had to make it a bit in the name of social survival
  6. Connor. We had such a spark in first grade. He stood up for me during the Michael Lemon debacle, it was unrequited love and then he moved away forever
    Jk I forgive you Connor come back
  7. The girl who convinced me she had been bitten by a vampire bat, become a vampire, and was going to make me a vampire while I slept. Like that episode of the office but mildly traumatizing
    This was in Kindergarten where is she now how many people has she killed
  8. All the girls at the pilgrim fair who made fun of the boy with the red cheeks and coke bottle glasses when he asked to dance with them
    He just needed a partner for the stupid dance thing at the end of the day. It was mandatory that he find someone. Ultimately I was his partner and he was the coolest + such a gentleman complimenting my braids and whatnot
  9. Brianna and Olivia who quizzed Kelsey (very innocent sheltered girl) on random sexual terms during ballet class until she hid in the dressing room
  10. Such dicks.