Things I Did At Work Today (That Were Not Work)

I work part time as a barista, as a preface.
  1. Perform an impromptu verbal trailer to accompany the '96 classic romantic comedy "One Fine Day" for my lucky coworkers
    Starring Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney as two single parents/working professionals just trying to find love in the big city! REQUIRED VIEWING
  2. Suspect that time is fucking around because it's passing markedly slower than usual
    I'm onto you
  3. Fall in love with any customer that asks me how I'm doing of their own volition
  4. Put hexes on the mean ones
  5. Send snapchats
    Thinly veiled cries for help
  6. Get bowled over by a wave of depression at 11 o'clock and wisely self medicate with lethal amounts of cold brew
    Around the time a customer greets me by leaning over the counter, yelling into my face and calling me honey. Honey. Honey! Hex.
  7. Pull a few seriously perfect shots (wonder if anyone noticed 🤔)
    Technically, this is work. Unless the wondering is the action?
  8. Loosely question life choices
  9. Fold tiny fortune tellers out of receipt paper and try to think of evil fortunes to write in tiny letters
  10. Think people are talking to me on three separate occasions when they are not
    It's fine
  11. Get hit on by a customer who assumes the heart in his latte art was me flirting
    Or he is doing a bit? Not into him but also love him in this moment for making me laugh, even unintentionally
  12. Daydream
  13. Make enough tips to spend in one place 🍻