Things I Did At Work Today (That Were Not Work)
I work part time as a barista, as a preface.
- •Perform an impromptu verbal trailer to accompany the '96 classic romantic comedy "One Fine Day" for my lucky coworkersStarring Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney as two single parents/working professionals just trying to find love in the big city! REQUIRED VIEWING
- •Suspect that time is fucking around because it's passing markedly slower than usualI'm onto you
- •Fall in love with any customer that asks me how I'm doing of their own volition
- •Put hexes on the mean ones
- •Send snapchatsThinly veiled cries for help
- •Get bowled over by a wave of depression at 11 o'clock and wisely self medicate with lethal amounts of cold brewAround the time a customer greets me by leaning over the counter, yelling into my face and calling me honey. Honey. Honey! Hex.
- •Pull a few seriously perfect shots (wonder if anyone noticed 🤔)Technically, this is work. Unless the wondering is the action?
- •Loosely question life choices
- •Fold tiny fortune tellers out of receipt paper and try to think of evil fortunes to write in tiny letters
- •Think people are talking to me on three separate occasions when they are notIt's fine
- •Get hit on by a customer who assumes the heart in his latte art was me flirtingOr he is doing a bit? Not into him but also love him in this moment for making me laugh, even unintentionally
- •Make enough tips to spend in one place 🍻