Time Feels Funny To Me

  1. Time feels funny to me.
  2. I can't figure out
  3. if the days are long and the years are short
  4. or if it's the other way around.
  5. I know that my name is Lauren,
  6. that Lauren is turning 26 soon.
  7. That she has moved backwards to Los Angeles, and she has moved forward into new friendships, and forward some more into new love
  8. With these things (inevitably) comes forward happenings that fill up your days, and your thoughts, and your future thoughts, until they spill over into memories
  9. a life unfolds backwards that way.
  10. So I wonder about time. I wonder about its flying always behind, and wishing it would stand still. I always wish this until it does
  11. Something happens that overwhelms the other happenings,
  12. and you're stuck in a pocket of time that feels funny,
  13. for lack of a better word.
  14. If I were not me, and able to look at me
  15. from a particular outside perspective,
  16. I do not know what I would say.
  17. Probably something like "It's going, even if you don't feel it, it's going. Don't miss it"
  18. I am me and I think
  19. (I am in fact me and I think)
  20. "It's going" all the time
  21. "Don't miss it" even more.
  22. The thing he just said, don't miss it, don't lose it. The way the sun feels on your face,
  23. the tears and the wildness and the thoughts that fill up your brain, and all manner of weightless things
  24. They're going.
  25. If you're lucky,
  26. They'll keep going.
  27. You will miss them later,
  28. Don't miss them now.