HOW TO HATE YOURSELF

  1. Say you're gonna do stuff
  2. Don't do stuff
  3. Become very sad and angry with yourself for not following through
  4. Say that NOW you're gonna do the thing
  5. Instead you just lay in bed for hours cause you're too upset with yourself to do anything
  6. Realize that it's nighttime and you still haven't done the thing
  7. Go to bed mad and lose lots of sleep because of how unfulfilled you feel
  8. Wake up feeling exhausted despite your lack of accomplishments the day before
  9. Repeat all steps again
  10. Congrats now you officially hate yourself