THINGS TEENAGE ME DESPISES ABOUT TODAY'S ME.
Inspired by @zoe's list that I couldn't stop thinking about.
- •Point of reference: Me, bottom left at age 17. Also pictured: my friends Sinead (now a book publisher in London) and Jack (now in jail).
- •I never wrote that novel.Buddy, I really tried.
- •I got married and had a kid.I was philosophically opposed to marriage and procreation, and also felt I'd never be sane enough/stable enough/reliable enough/un-fragile enough for either.
- •I wear a suit and tie every day.I didn't know how to tie a tie until I was nearly 30. And I opposed, with some vehemence and a lot of success, my high school's attempt to institute a uniform. But my suit and tie now really, I swear, is the same affectation as the khakis, flannels, and penny loafers I wore every day back then.
- •I live in the States.I grew up partly in Madrid and expected to be a Hemingwayish expat my whole life.
- •I work on the Internet.I remember when a friend told me about "cyberspace" in 1994 maybe, "You'll be able to transcend your body!" "That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard of. Transcend my body. We're still virgins!"
- •I no longer drink Long Island Teas.Surprisingly popular in Madrid, at least if you're fifteen.
- •I didn't keep my Spanish.That's garbage, and I'm sorry.
- •I'm kind of not that into Dylan anymore?Maybe we over-listened to it, dude. But I put "Blood on the Tracks" on the record player the other day and didn't feel. Also, I finally saw him play a few years after that photo was taken and he was terrible.