1. Madonna made out with a younger dude! How revolting/desperate, you tweeted? Oh, humor! After all, that younger dude wrote a sexual song about Madonna and she was supposed to be an aloof virgin angel about it. But she wasn't! That idiot!
  2. Madonna's a woman in her fifties and she's not acting like your mom! That is worthy of mockery!
  3. Madonna is fucking better than your fucking mom.
  4. It's so desperate how Madonna does what she wants, looks amazing, and has no contemporaries, RIGHT?
  5. If we look at a sexual icon being sexual in her fifties and think, "Ew," then we probably need Madonna now more than ever.