THINGS TILDA SWINTON IS

  1. A diamond wearing a pantsuit
  2. A Talbot's catalog parody of "The Scream"
  3. Wonderful larva
  4. A photo negative of Grace Jones
  5. Light
  6. A reptile who acts
  7. Someone who goes to Stonehenge, closes her eyes, and says, "Ugh, five new voicemails"