WHY MY COLLEGE YEARS (2004-'08) WERE THE WORST TIME FOR POP MUSIC

  1. Every R&B song was directed to Shorty.
  2. Grey's Anatomy soundtracks were in charge of rock music.
  3. Jason Mraz used boho trickery to regain relevance. TRIVIA: If you put your ear up to a stupid hat, you can hear a Jason Mraz song
  4. Madonna said, "Hm I'm bored, let's ruin Timbaland's career."
  5. The beginning of ironic Britney fandom
  6. Jessica Simpson shared her theory that "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" needed more asthma wheezes
  7. We would not let Kelly Clarkson have a December.
  8. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies." "Sugar We're Goin Down." "Are We Human or Are We Dancer?" These sound like mistranslated Korean ransom notes.
  9. We refused to properly appreciate Cassie's "Me & U," Kelis' "Bossy," and that 7'4 matriarch of good tries, Ciara.
  10. Daniel Powter did what he wanted and you fucking let him.
  11. The Black Eyed Peas recorded themselves dropping cymbals and trumpets from tenth story windows and every time it went to #1.
  12. The beginnings of LMFAO. Do you know what LMFAO stands for? Illiterate Black Eyed Peas Fanclub.
  13. Ashlee Simpson released an album called "I Am Me." Sadly she was right.