LOVE POEM TO THIS MOMENT

  1. To the couple walking half a block ahead of me
    you wobble on the icy sidewalk in tandem and it reminds me of 5th grade, when we learned about the states of matter-- when atoms get warm they bump into each other, just like you two
  2. The scuffing of your feet is replaced by the sound of a bicycle on the snow
  3. And a woman on the phone
    she walks past, frenetic and angry
  4. But I'm focused mostly on how the streetlight refracts on my smudged glasses
    there's a dried tear there, leftover from yesterday
  5. There's a spangled star at each point of light
  6. And those points of light all contribute
    here, now, every night
  7. To make this Chicago sky turn its unique purple-orange color
  8. The color of city at night reflected on cloud cover, reverberated between concrete and asphalt and condensation
  9. High in the goddamn sky
  10. I say
  11. Yesterday I cried, deep heaving tears about so much and so little and
  12. Today I did a homework assignment and that alone was enough to show me that I can and will and do
  13. A shuttle passes
    friendly, bumbling
  14. The heel of my left sock is more worn than my right
  15. I am walking slowly and part of me wishes this screen wasn't here but I can never decide
  16. Would You Rather:
  17. record a moment and revisit it
  18. or
  19. experience it perhaps more fully but lose it forever
  20. I have a terrible memory
  21. Which becomes a skill, at times, because yesterday I cried and today I know I cried but I don't feel it nearly the same
  22. Those feelings will be even more misty in a week
    Like tonight-- mist rests on my cheeks like the snowflakes that fell this morning and melted on our hair
  23. Is condensation compensation for something?
  24. For now-- an orange-purple sky and a slow walk and a moment of gratitude for this moment itself
    a moment for a moment
  25. And as I place the key in the lock to open the door to my apartment there is part of me that wants to stand outside forever
    perhaps without this backpack, yes, and with more supportive shoes, but
  26. I am so glad to be here
  27. My choir director once said something lovely
    he is esoteric, deeply emotional, but usually very reserved
  28. "...the elegance of the achievement of human beings in light of the impossibility to exist, at all..."
    fill in the before and after of this sentence for yourself
  29. I am continually baffled by how much and how little it takes to exist
  30. I am sorry if I have ever hurt you
    anyone, out there
  31. I hope you feel the peace that I presently feel
    (although I know moments, by definition, are fleeting and thus-- this too shall pass)