I HAD A 5 YEAR CRUSH IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

  1. His name was Socrates
    He was black doe
  2. He had a beard and mustache by 5th grade
    He was the appropriate age of a 5th grader, though lmao
  3. He used to wait by the front gate of the school for me to get on my bus
  4. He would call me on my house phone when my mom went dancing
    Little did I know he had Tiffany (a close friend but not really - backstabbing bitch) on 3 way, silent as hell listening to our conversations
  5. He transferred so I only seen him during summer camp after 5th grade
  6. I hated all of his light-skinned, green eyed, bougie ass sisters
    One grew up to be an AKA 😴
  7. Tiffany (yes the same backstabbing bitch) threw a co-ed hotel party and I couldn't resist
    The boys were in a different room but we shared a balcony so we (the girls) made them each show us their dicks from the balcony with the glass door closed. Even in the Chicago winter Socrates' dick was disgustingly huge. My 5 year crush went away. (I realize I sound like a young hoe this was 7th grade)