AN EXPLANATION FOR THE OTHER MOVIEGOERS WHO THINK I PUBLICLY SCOFFED AT THE NEW STAR WARS TRAILER

There were cheers, there were claps...and there was one loud raspberry.
  1. I don't usually drink so much soda so quickly! It's been a while since I've had any! The carbonation always gets to me. Sometimes it even makes me cry. This is well-documented.
  2. I'm not generally the kind of person to express loud disdain! I'm much more the "quietly-roll-eyes-and-draft-a-cutting-tweet-for-later" type.
  3. Star Wars is fine! I like it fine!
  4. I'm excited for John Boyega and Oscar Isaacs! Truly!
  5. I felt a burp coming at the end of the trailer.
  6. I tried to swallow it but it didn't work, so it sounded like I snorted as if to say PFFT THIS MOVIE IS GARBAGE when what I really meant to convey was PFFT I CANNOT CONTROL THE GASES, I AM A BUBBLING CAULDRON OF REGRET.
  7. I cried a little. Unclear whether it was due to the carbonation or the shame.
  8. Please forgive me.
  9. To burp is human. To forgive, divine.
  10. ...although tbh I'm really not that excited for the movie. Sorry.