AN EXPLANATION FOR THE OTHER MOVIEGOERS WHO THINK I PUBLICLY SCOFFED AT THE NEW STAR WARS TRAILER
There were cheers, there were claps...and there was one loud raspberry.
- •I don't usually drink so much soda so quickly! It's been a while since I've had any! The carbonation always gets to me. Sometimes it even makes me cry. This is well-documented.
- •I'm not generally the kind of person to express loud disdain! I'm much more the "quietly-roll-eyes-and-draft-a-cutting-tweet-for-later" type.
- •Star Wars is fine! I like it fine!
- •I'm excited for John Boyega and Oscar Isaacs! Truly!
- •I felt a burp coming at the end of the trailer.
- •I tried to swallow it but it didn't work, so it sounded like I snorted as if to say PFFT THIS MOVIE IS GARBAGE when what I really meant to convey was PFFT I CANNOT CONTROL THE GASES, I AM A BUBBLING CAULDRON OF REGRET.
- •I cried a little. Unclear whether it was due to the carbonation or the shame.
- •Please forgive me.
- •To burp is human. To forgive, divine.
- •...although tbh I'm really not that excited for the movie. Sorry.