BRITISH PERIOD PIECE HEROES IN ORDER OF HOW I WOULD MAKE LOVE TO THEM

This list is the whitest thing about me, and I APOLOGIZE. Blame @laurareeve
  1. Henry Talbot, Downton Abbey
    We exchange clever, innuendo-laden banter that keeps me up all night, blotting my chest with wet cloths.
  2. Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice
    He stands behind me and softly whispers all the things he would do to please me into my ear. I respond simply, "That would please me."
  3. Mr. Pamuk, Downton Abbey
    Just conventional Edwardian love-making - we kiss chastely on the mouth, and he gently expires in my arms. Despite the trauma of his death, I treasure it as one of the most tantalizing sexual experiences of my life.
  4. Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg, The Young Victoria
    We hold each other all night in matching floor-length nightgowns and gaze penetratingly into each other's eyes until we both climax together.
  5. Edmund Bertram, Mansfield Park
    We nearly kiss after many years of dedicated friendship and sublimated feelings for one another. After a brief, chaste courtship, we marry and make love with all the subterranean energy of having been secretly in love our entire lives.
  6. Ross Poldark, Poldark
    Though upon first meeting we passionately loathe each other, after several charged public interactions we meet unexpectedly while each existentially pondering our own existence on a gray and lonesome beach. We find rough solace in each other's arms in a dank beach cave.
  7. Henry Tilney, Northanger Abbey
    Our hands touch during an innocent game of whist. He flashes me a devilish smirk, unbeknownst to the rest of the party, and excuses himself for air, pressing his hip against mine under the table. I wait a moment and follow. We couple quietly behind a suit of armor in a dark hallway.
  8. William Thatcher, A Knight's Tale
    SHUT UP THIS COUNTS. We make love clandestinely against a wall in a stable at midday. It's quick and stealthy, and the danger of discovery adds to the passion of the moment. Afterward, he grins impishly and promises that the next time I see him, I will look up at him from the flat of my back. He's right.
  9. Jamie Fraser, Outlander
    He comes to me covered in sweat and blood, in need of attention. I reach for a bandage, but he catches my hand and insists that's not the kind of healing he had in mind. I yield myself to him entirely, and the experience is so intense that I burst into flames, ascending to heaven and spending the rest of eternity haunting him as a thirsty ghost.
  10. **thanks again @laurareeve for this request and for revealing my true occupation to me: gentle erotic fanfiction author