BRITISH PERIOD PIECE HEROES IN ORDER OF HOW I WOULD MAKE LOVE TO THEM
This list is the whitest thing about me, and I APOLOGIZE. Blame @laurareeve
- •Henry Talbot, Downton AbbeyWe exchange clever, innuendo-laden banter that keeps me up all night, blotting my chest with wet cloths.
- •Mr. Darcy, Pride and PrejudiceHe stands behind me and softly whispers all the things he would do to please me into my ear. I respond simply, "That would please me."
- •Mr. Pamuk, Downton AbbeyJust conventional Edwardian love-making - we kiss chastely on the mouth, and he gently expires in my arms. Despite the trauma of his death, I treasure it as one of the most tantalizing sexual experiences of my life.
- •Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg, The Young VictoriaWe hold each other all night in matching floor-length nightgowns and gaze penetratingly into each other's eyes until we both climax together.
- •Edmund Bertram, Mansfield ParkWe nearly kiss after many years of dedicated friendship and sublimated feelings for one another. After a brief, chaste courtship, we marry and make love with all the subterranean energy of having been secretly in love our entire lives.
- •Ross Poldark, PoldarkThough upon first meeting we passionately loathe each other, after several charged public interactions we meet unexpectedly while each existentially pondering our own existence on a gray and lonesome beach. We find rough solace in each other's arms in a dank beach cave.
- •Henry Tilney, Northanger AbbeyOur hands touch during an innocent game of whist. He flashes me a devilish smirk, unbeknownst to the rest of the party, and excuses himself for air, pressing his hip against mine under the table. I wait a moment and follow. We couple quietly behind a suit of armor in a dark hallway.
- •William Thatcher, A Knight's TaleSHUT UP THIS COUNTS. We make love clandestinely against a wall in a stable at midday. It's quick and stealthy, and the danger of discovery adds to the passion of the moment. Afterward, he grins impishly and promises that the next time I see him, I will look up at him from the flat of my back. He's right.
- •Jamie Fraser, OutlanderHe comes to me covered in sweat and blood, in need of attention. I reach for a bandage, but he catches my hand and insists that's not the kind of healing he had in mind. I yield myself to him entirely, and the experience is so intense that I burst into flames, ascending to heaven and spending the rest of eternity haunting him as a thirsty ghost.
- •**thanks again @laurareeve for this request and for revealing my true occupation to me: gentle erotic fanfiction author