NON-SEVERE CURSES FOR EVERYDAY USE

For the people you don't necessarily want DEAD but would like to see suffer just a little. // written in collaboration with @bostita
  1. MAY YOUR BROWS BE ON FLERJ (opposite of FLEEK)
  2. MAY YOUR TAMPON PRAIRIE DOG ALL DAY
  3. MAY YOU HAVE EXPLOSIVE GAS PAINS BUT NEVER THE SWEET RELEASE OF A FART
  4. MAY YOUR MOUTH ALWAYS TASTE LIKE GREEN OLIVES
  5. MAY YOU LOSE YOUR DOG'S TRUST
  6. MAY THE PERSON YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ALWAYS BE STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU
  7. MAY YOUR PROMOTION AT WORK END UP BEING AN ELABORATE INSIDE JOKE THAT YOU WERE EXCLUDED FROM