Kids be trippin'
  1. The floor is lava
  2. Single dads
  3. Opposite Day
  4. Constant availability of kiddie junk food
  5. Sometimes a stray pencil slung casually by a playful 6yo hits you eraser-first in the eye, very nearly blinding you, and you have to figure out in the moment how to impress upon that 6yo that he NEARLY FUCKING BLINDED YOU and even though it's your mildly lazy eye and you do technically have an eyepatch for it somewhere, it's still not okay.