NOTP = No Thanks Pls! TV couples everybody loves EXCEPT FOR ME.
  1. Danny and Mindy, The Mindy Project
    Sorry, but Danny is a pile of hot garbage. His misogyny is just BARELY benign, and he treats Mindy like she should be honored to be with him even though he treats her like junk. She could have hooked up with a skateboarding Timothy Olyphant! She had the world at her fingertips! And she settled for a rude self-important hypocritical selfish short pseudo-Christian mommy's boy. NO.
  2. Damon and Elena, The Vampire Diaries
    Probably the most toxic and horrible relationship ever falsely romanticized on television? And it was achieved under false and contrived auspices. Elena chose Stefan at the end of s3, plain and simple, but a couple of fan-pandering retcons and a stupid shitty plot device robbed Elena of her agency and propelled her into Damon's arms. They proceeded to go to bone town at every opportunity, even when it was entirely inappropriate and rude and inconsiderate of Stefan's feelings. They're the worst.
  3. Aria and Ezra, Pretty Little Liars
    I didn't really watch this show, but I saw the pilot where a teenager makes out with a full-grown man in the bathroom of a bar(?) and finds out on Monday morning he's her new high school English teacher. AND THEN THEY STILL END UP DATING. AND PEOPLE WERE ON BOARD. Nonononononobonononovonoononorp
  4. Stefan and Caroline, The Vampire Diaries
    I mainly object to this on principle - because this show had the opportunity to portray a solid, supportive, non-sexual friendship between two different-gender characters, which is virtually unprecedented for shows of its ilk, and instead it went NAHH THEY SHOULD BONE. How original. Also, Caroline belongs with Klaus, I apologize for nothing.
  5. Stiles and Lydia, Teen Wolf
    Again, two characters who have a great friendship that will prob morph into romance bc, according to TV, being friends is worthless unless you can get a little extra sumthin-sumthin. It's also complicated by the fact that Stiles has long had unrequited feelings for Lydia. Forcing them together suggests that she owes him for being a long-suffering nice guy in the friend-zone, and that's a pernicious idea I would like to see die.
  6. Olivia and Fitz, Scandal
    I was dead set against this from the very first episode, when Fitz repeatedly and unwelcomely invades Olivia's personal space. He is unctuous. He is selfish. He is entitled. And he looks like a basset hound had sex with a raisin in a pile of rice powder. 👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽
  7. Jess and Nick, New Girl
    I always felt this was a recipe for disaster. If you live in an apartment with three men, you can't just decide to start dating one of them. That's bad news bears. It's clown town. Especially when you choose the most irresponsible and noncommittal one of the bunch. And sure, Nick is funny and likable, but imho, Schmidt is funnier and Winston is more likable. Just a shame.
  8. Scott and Allison, Teen Wolf
    Ughhhh the most boring stereotypical first love high school story. The best thing Teen Wolf ever did was break them up and let them move on from one another. Their relationship was fine, but it's ridiculous the fantasies we have about the primacy of first love. Both characters became far more interesting in the wake of their break-up, and tbh I actually liked them better with their subsequent SOs. Especially pro-Allison and Isaac. Adorable.