THINGS MEN YELL AT ME ON THE STREET VS. WHAT THEY ACTUALLY MEAN

  1. *wolf whistle*
    I have a tiny penis.
  2. "HELLO beautiful."
    Greetings from my tiny penis.
  3. "Smile, sweetheart."
    You exist solely to please me and my tiny penis.
  4. "You want a ride?"
    Get in my car so I can murder you with my tiny penis.
  5. "Can you spare your number?"
    I can't afford a cell phone, but I do have an old rotary phone which I'll dial with my tiny penis.
  6. "Damn girl, you're tall."
    I like to state the obvious. Speaking of, did I mention I have a tiny penis?