TO ALL THE SAD RATS FLEEING THE LIST APP SHIP

  1. SAYONARA!
  2. It's a shame to see you go, but if your delicate constitutions can't stomach the contributions of your fellow "angry" (read: female/poc/etc) listers, then it's time for you to scurry back to the comfort of other social media platforms - Twitter or Tumblr maybe - where people will fully appreciate your man pain in all its exquisite glory.
  3. And before you go, definitely pretend that you go with the best intentions and goodwill toward all - not, as the harpies might suggest, that you're skulking away with your tail between your legs bc someone else's experiences make you uncomfortable and might require you to reflect and change your behavior in ways you'd find inconvenient.
  4. Definitely blame the belligerent shrews on your way out, those power-mad witches gnashing their crooked teeth with eagerness to police every word spoken and silence their foes - not, as they insist repeatedly, to create safe spaces in which to share their own experiences and thoughts without fear of judgment or reproach.
  5. By all means act as though you are a martyr - a martyr to comedy or political correctness or whatever cause you feel is more important than the effect your words have on another human being.
  6. But most of all, know that we miss you. Bc without your insipid whining, there are many fewer things to list about.
  7. Now hurry up and jump ship! You know what they say, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. God knows, you probably think that's a woman's domain anyway.