1. EWR (Newark, NJ): New Jersey is definitely Eww-er than everywhere else.
  2. OGG (Kahalui, Maui): the Original Gangster Gangster
  3. BUR (Bob Hope International Airport, Burbank, CA): we're just fucking with you it's never cold in the Valley
  4. LAX (Los Angeles): somebody needs more fiber in their diet
  5. LGB (City of Long Beach): The Russian KGB's B Team.
  6. BOS (Boston Logan): TONY DANZA
  7. PHX (Phoenix Sky Harbor): I phux with Sky Harbor
  8. DEN (Denver): it sounds like a cozy place
  9. YOW (Ottawa, Canada, eh): the sound you make when you de plane in February
    also why does every Canadian airport have a Y in front? YVR (Vancouver), YEG (Edmonton), YUL (Montreal), YYC (Calgary), YAC (Cat Lake), YCW (Chilliwack), etc
  10. MCO (Orlando, FL): MC O on the mic bringin it to you straight from the swamps of Central Florida, I think this airport moonlights as Flo-Rida's hype man
  11. HAM (Hamburg, Germany): we. have. pork.
    goal in life: fly from Hamburg to Burbank to Nuevo Gerona, Cuba
  12. CDG (Paris Charles de Gaulle): Somebody fucked up Jingle Bells
    (EEE EEE EE G C D)