BREAKUP CURES

  1. new sunglasses
    you make this shit look good
  2. promiscuity streak
    7-14 weeks. any longer and it starts to become permanent.
  3. Saves the Day
    "and now I finally see that the further we go/we're only treading ground that we already know..." bring the feels chris
  4. Ace Ventura
    either.
  5. flirt hard
    you are the Steph Curry of flirting, bring the "pull up 10 feet behind the arc it doesn't even matter" confidence.
  6. road trips
    Disneyland preferably
  7. tequila
    be reasonable about the unreasonableness
  8. don't be the person who makes a subtle or not subtle dig the next time you see them.
    it'll just make you feel like a grundlebrush after, and you'd be right. let them make the subtle dig if they want. nothing will convince you of your over it status like actually behaving like it.
  9. hook up with their friend(s)
    not proud of it but it worked... not like I had a track record (I'm totally lying I did this kind of a lot actually). #mybad
  10. revel in it.
    "there ain't nothin to it but to do it" a wise man once said. I'm of the belief that break ups generate a fixed amount of heartache that is kind of like gas in the gas tank. if you rev harder or drive faster you'll burn through it sooner. so revel in the heartache like it's a goddamn fireworks show. dive in, swim your laps, then leave the pool majestic and on the prowl, like Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions (that scene actually happened right? I might be confusing movies here).