DISNEY THEME PARKS WORLDWIDE, RANKED
Been there, done that, have the Mickey souvenirs.
- •DisneylandIt's not the best, actually. But it's the original. It's special. You can feel it ("it" being that all the pathways and major crowd control flow points are a disaster because even Walt didn't know how good of a thing he had).
- •Tokyo DisneySeaNothing else comes close. What happens when the check is blank. Journey to the Center of the Earth, by far the best Tower of Terror, the best Indiana Jones, the best quirk and detail and splendor and just everything that makes a Disney park a worthy endeavor. I have a good list in me about what makes this park great. I'll need to gather my photos.
- •Disneyland ParisAn incredibly pretty version of Disneyland. By far the most aesthetically pleasing of all the "Magic Kingdom" style parks. My favorite parts are the far more creative Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain on an island (you board the train on the "mainland" and go under the Rivers of America), Queen of Hearts labyrinth, and the castle.
- •Tokyo DisneylandThis park is huge and the infrastructure for crowd control is insane. A lot of the park is kind of not very pretty, but individual attractions make up for it. The best Splash Mountain, Jungle Cruise in Japanese is hilarious if you don't speak Japanese, and the Winnie the Pooh ride is one of the coolest pieces of ride tech ever, the first ride to use trackless ride vehicles with LPS awareness.
- •Epcot (Florida)Any theme park with a tequila bar is good with me. What brings Epcot down the list is all the outdated, not interesting stuff between otherwise pretty strong attractions. Some sleeper cool shit here that a lot of people miss like Living with the Land, Ellen's Universe of Energy, and Cheddar Cheese Soup. Park is at least 40% improved by the Food and Wine Festival which runs for three months every year (I'll be presenting next week).
- •Disney California AdventureSTARTED AT THE BOTTOM NOW WE HERE. If you remember this park in 2001 I'm sorry. I've successfully repressed all of those memories. But after a couple extra billion dollars there's a real gem of a park here: Cars Land, Buena Vista Street, Grizzly Peak, Screamin, Mania, Tower, etc. all bright spots. Once they redo the Hollywood area and fill in the last development spot it's going to get even better.
- •Magic Kingdom (Florida)Lacks a lot of the personality of the original or Paris and has some obvious weak spots, but on the whole there's a lot to like. The new Fantasyland expansion is pretty great and I love their Haunted Mansion. Their Pirates, however, is offensively bad.
- •Disney's Animal Kingdom (Florida)A lot of people dislike this park because of a "lack of attractions", I think they just don't like walking. While the line up was definitely weak at opening, after Everest opened this park really came into its own. I think this park has the best theme work and design outside of DisneySea and Paris. The animal attractions are pretty great. They're currently building Avatar Land which I hope isn't just James Cameron yelling at people.
- •Hong Kong DisneylandHaven't been since the major expansion which added to E tickets including Mystic Manor and their version of Big Thunder. This was a good park before those additions but it had a thin attraction line up. It's much better now but the park needs some time to be grow into itself, it still felt very new in 2009 and lacked character. I hear it's better now. They should be getting some good stuff right after Shanghai opens (next year), which will flesh out the park more.
- •Disney Hollywood Studios (Florida)This park is about to go through a major overhaul to make it worthy again, including a massive Star Wars attraction. This park is great on your first visit: Rock N Roller Coaster, original Tower of Terror (the only one with the 5th dimension room), Star Tours, but then you quickly realize that since they've closed a lot of the anchor attractions at the back of the park there just isn't very much to do. Tower, Rock'n, and then... take the boat back to Epcot and drink?
- •Disney Studios (Paris)If it didn't have a Tower and the new Ratatouille ride it wouldn't deserve to exist. It has a unique attraction in Crush's Coaster, but other than that they kinda mailed this one in.