1. None of you are counting all the invisible people that Donald Trump sees! Donald Trump is basically an M. Night Shyamalan movie character: he can see thousands of people that nobody else can. Hundreds of thousands of invisible people watched the inauguration.
    We're going to ignore the fact that they were apparently the same thousands of invisible people who were celebrating on 9/11 in New Jersey.
  2. Trump looked out from the stage and used his thumb and finger to measure the Washington Monument (and mentally compare it to his wang) then used the same thumb and finger to gauge the crowd size... it's not his fault that his hands are so tiny that it artificially inflated the crowd size estimate.
    Think of it like this: his tiny hands forced him to artificially inflate the crowd size, much like the penis pump his tiny hands actually use.
  3. The light reflecting off Trump's self-tanner forces him to squint so aggressively that he actually couldn't see the crowd.
    Between that and the hat brim of hair combed forward from the top of his neck, his peripheral vision probably looks about the same as the view out of a Corvette windshield. [Seriously when he gets out of the shower, Melania must get he dopest view of the most badass mullet since Saved by the Bell got cancelled.]
  4. Trump accidentally used the math he used to count floors of his buildings to count the crowd size.
    From a NYT article about his building height math: "And when he wants his buildings to seem bigger than they actually are, he enlarges them the same way he has thwarted long odds and defied reality throughout the election season: with sheer bluster." Source: https://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/11/02/nyregion/donald-trump-tower-heights.html
  5. Come to think of it: Sheer bluster.
    I mean, even the concept that he has hair is just bluster: he's pulling it out of his ass. Like literally combing it to his temples from the ass of his head.
  6. He confused the white grass covering for his KKK supporters.
    A mistake any of us could've made.
  7. He just has really exceedingly bad depth perception.
    I mean, the point of his tie swings halfway down the fly of his Chinese-made pants, making most rappers question their chain-hang-low-credentials. It's clear he just can't really judge distance very well.
  8. He's senile.
    He's 70 and he's been huffing hairspray and self-tanner for the better part of 5 decades, that's gotta accelerate your mental decline.
  9. He's been just honestly really confused ever since he saw his first side mirror and read "OBJECTS IN MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR" when he was forward-combing his Tang-mullet on the street before he sprayed 7 shots of Binaca in his mouth and sexually assaulted a journalist.
    It's not his fault it's a legit existential crisis.
  10. His ego is as fragile and brittle as the shell of a Trump Grille [sp] Taco Bowl.
    I truly need to know if he's aware of the fact that tacos don't come in bowls.
  11. He's a narcissistic, unrepentant liar.