HOW TO MAKE MOSTLY RESPECTABLE HOMEMADE TORTILLAS

big ups to Rick Bayliss and the back of the Maseca bag
  1. got to your local Hispanic grocery store and buy some Maseca
    it should look like this. it should cost like $3, and this bag will make like hundreds of tortillas (probably maybe but definitely like at least almost a hundred I think). this makes homemade tortillas essentially free.
  2. if they have pre made masa for tortillas (not tamales) it will probably make a better tortilla, but it's the easy way.
  3. put two cups of Maseca in a bowl, add some salt and, if you want, a small amount of fat (a tablespoon of butter, lard, vegetable oil).
    it's possible that the fat prevents some of the perfect leavening of the tortilla but it also makes them stick a bit less and it makes them a little more delicious.
  4. start by adding a cup and a quarter of medium warm water.
  5. get in there with your paws and mix that shit up. if it feels dry and isn't coming together into a big ball, add like a splash of hot water at a time until it tightens up, but knead for like 10 seconds between each add to see how you did.
  6. once you have it together, knead it for another minute or so, then wet a paper towel in warm water and cover the ball in the bowl. let the dough rest for 30 minutes.
    (or not if you're like hankering, but resting is better)
  7. get your kitchen scale and portion the dough into 1.3 oz balls (like a hungry ping pong ball if you don't have a kitchen scale)
    (don't be a fucking casual, get a fucking kitchen scale, they're like $10 on prime)
  8. store those balls under that moist towel, super important the dough doesn't dry out.
  9. heat up a cast iron pan, non stick pan, non stick griddle, or your plancha if you're legit: medium high heat
    heat in recipes pisses me off because if you're on a shitty electric stove your high is a gas medium plus)
  10. don't grease it or anything.
  11. wait for it to get hot.
  12. cut a ziplock bag down the side seams and cut the zipper off. so you have one big sheet of uninterrupted plastic
  13. get your tortilla press out.
    the wood ones are good too, I have both. this one is at home. this is also like $10.
  14. put the ziploc down, put a masa ball in the middle of one half of the ziploc, fold it over, then close the press, apply your body weight.
  15. turn it 180° and do it again
    tortilla presses don't press fully even because the hinge is on one side, this is how you don't get a ramped/slanted tortilla.
  16. peel that thing off and put it right in the hot part of the pan.
  17. wait 20-50 seconds (depends on how much heat you have and how much you like a little browning on your tortilla). the second you see steam or smoke coming from the under side of the tortilla you are two seconds late for the first flip.
    tonight it was 23 seconds before first flip.
  18. after the first flip, wait another 20-50 seconds (this side is usually 5-10 seconds longer), don't wait for smoke, just dial this time in by going 5 seconds longer. eventually you will have tortilla intuition and know when to flip based on the puffiness of the next step.
    you will probably fuck a few up. that's okay, remember it's basically free anyways and they are still edible.
  19. flip one last time. your tortilla should puff up like a balloon. after a few seconds. if not, poke the edges with your fingers and push on the middle.
    this picture is not a perfect example. if you really nailed it it will be one big air bubble, not separated like this one. kind of hard to see in this photo anyways.
  20. THE PUFFY PART IS IMPORTANT. what you've essentially done is cooked two layers of tortilla on your first side and second side, and then after the second flip the two layers have trapped water vapor and the vapor puffs the tortilla, which separates the two layers and makes it fluffy and delicious.
  21. if they're not puffing you need to dial in your times and heat. but don't throw the non puffing ones away... they're still tortillas and still tasty.
  22. the two cups of Maseca should make like approximately this many tortillas plus or minus. the recipe says 16. I don't remember cuz I eat them as I make them.
  23. add queso fresco and zucchini blossoms and brace your shit.
  24. edit: or make homemade al pastor and make tacos.
    I'm not sharing my al pastor marinade recipe because of its monetary value.