SIMILES FOR FLORIDA WEATHER

  1. like a wet sweater
  2. like walking through nacho cheese
  3. like a giant clothed steam room
  4. like a used cotton ball
  5. like living in a half dry load of rayon laundry
  6. like America's armpit
  7. like it should still be under the ocean
  8. like lotion on the soft side of velcro
  9. like a Sumo wrestler's belly button
  10. like a wall of sweat
  11. like the gap between North America's toes after a 3 day trek
  12. like a camel's burp
  13. like the inside of a long since decommissioned Oscar Mayer wienermobile
  14. like staying in the hot tub too long all day long
  15. like being a garment getting dry cleaned
  16. like being on top of a flat matzoh ball
  17. like living in a grocery store rental carpet steamer
  18. like the Goodwill used socks bin
  19. like a deity forgot to turn off the oven
  20. like being trapped in char sui bao
  21. like being imprisoned in a dim sum cart
  22. like the ass end vent of the continent's air conditioner
  23. like the sky farted
  24. like the inside of a muffin
  25. like the climatological embodiment of how I feel walking through a department store cosmetics floor
  26. like wearing a jalapeño
  27. like being haunted by the spirit of a velour jumpsuit
  28. like hot regret