SOFT STUFF THAT, IF VIN DIESEL SAID IT, WOULD SOUND HARD AS FUCK

  1. "I have an appointment for a cucumber eye mask and a rejuvenating facial."
  2. "I need my hotel room to have hypoallergenic pillows and a humidifier or else I get very throaty."
  3. "This toilet paper is too abrasive."
  4. "Where are my figure skates?!"
  5. "That water slide is very scary."
  6. "This salsa is mucho picante!"
    [sic]
  7. "Lavender bath salts are just so soothing."
  8. "Oklahoma is my favorite musical."
  9. "That will go straight to my hips."
  10. "I would like a kid's scoop of rainbow sherbet with rainbow sprinkles!!"
  11. "Will you deliver your falafel to my hotel suite?"
  12. "I need sheets with higher thread count."
  13. "I'm allergic to tamarind."
  14. "Bunnies are my spirit animal."
  15. "I can't even roll my Rs! Really! I can't do it! See! Rrrrrrrrr! I just sound like an angry bunny! Did I tell you bunnies are my spirit animal?"