WHAT WOULD BE IN MY SUBSCRIPTION BOX

Inspired by @Debby
  1. BSI IC-Gel cyanoacrylate super glue
    you're fucking welcome.
  2. really good bagels
    like really good
  3. expensive raw denim
    once you know better you never go back. 😙
  4. steelhead flies I tied
  5. silicon hair ties
  6. Skratch Labs Exercise Hydration
    the kicker: I mix flavors, so you'd get 50/50 blends of two flavors. Skratch is all natural low calorie sports drink mix made from real fruit and was invented for pro cyclists. it's terrific.
  7. some artisan fucking coffee
    elitism of coffee roaster directly correlates to quality
  8. an example of a musical artist wearing the t shirt of another musical artist you wouldn't expect them to wear
    like when the fiddle player from Yonder Mountain wore a Lady Gaga t shirt, or when Xzibit wore a Rancid t shirt. I cannot get enough of these.
  9. a picture of Ennis
    I'm acutely aware of the fact that my dog is between 3 and 17 times more popular than I am.
  10. a word search
    right?!?!
  11. some wine
    mailing people wine on a scheduled basis is pretty much how I pay my salary anyways.
  12. an update on their local water supply's storage level
    knowing's half the battle
  13. DVDs of Saved by the Bell, Boy Meets World, and Fresh Prince
    I would constantly send the "I'm so excited, I'm so so scared." episode and keep on forgetting I just sent it.
  14. a 1300-7300 word rant about something mundane that unreasonably pissed me off.
    #judgmentfreezone
  15. Pink Lady apples/Sumo mandarins
    on my Harry and David shit
  16. homemade tortillas
    if I could ensure they were still warm, I would.
  17. a list of three music videos circa 1997-2005 to go watch.
    starting with ja rule and j lo's "I'm real" *italian chef move where you bunch your fingertips together and kiss them emphatically*