Literally writing this as I sit in the room waiting for the doctor.
  1. Do you smoke or drink?
    Does anyone ever answer this honestly? I mean, I don't smoke (gross) but I do partake in libations. But I don't want to be like, "not like an alcoholic but yes I do like to get down on the weekends with my homies."
  2. Single/married/divorced?
    Obviously single. And it's sad to admit, OKAY?!
  3. Are you sexually active?
    No I don't want to answer any questions about how I get down, Tina. Just because you put a thermometer under my tongue doesn't make us best friends.
  4. Do you exercise regularly?
    This is just a straight up slap in the face. You just weighed me and you know I didn't get these love handles from running... But from the good things in life like beer and chicken nuggets.
  5. When was the last time you got a flu shot?
    Tina pls. I don't want to get into an argument with you in how I don't believe in flu shots. I'll just go with, "it's been a minute."