For the first 4 months when I moved to Chicago, I spent 40 miserable hours a week at working at a Starbucks and really embodying the post grad actor cliché. Let my pain be your gain.
  1. Hot Venti lattes are a rip off
    Yo homie, hate to burst your bubble, but you wanna know how many shots are in a grande latte? 2. Guess how many are in a venti? 2. The only thing you're getting more of is milk.
  2. Unless you get an iced venti latte...
    Which does have three shots. Welcome to the logic of Starbucks.
  3. Speaking of iced lattes...
    If you're planning on getting an iced latte, just get however many shots you want over ice and put milk in it. It's cheaper and it is literally the same drink.
  4. Why is the flat white so good?
    Because it actually tastes like a quality latte. A latte you can get at any coffee shop that takes coffee seriously. Which is not a Starbucks.
  5. Speaking of flat whites.
    If you get it iced, you've missed the point. What makes it so good is the micro foam you get from steaming it!
  6. Soy milk
    The soy milk used by Starbucks has a TON of added sugar. It's really not any healthier than regular milk.
  7. Nobody cares if you're late
    Why did you stop to get coffee then?
  8. If you're a regular, and you have good service, tip.
    Seriously. Throw 'em a dollar every now and then! They're not making as much as you think they are, and it's really easy to make your drink decaf!
  9. The benefits aren't that great.
    You have to be working there for 6 months before you can get them, and you also have to be working a certain amount of hours per week.
  10. Benefits or not...
    It's still a fast food job. Starbucks employees get paid very little. See my point on tipping.
  11. Aside from black coffee or tea, it's hard to be healthy at Starbucks.
    Don't kid yourself!
  12. If it says reduced fat...
    It probably means in comparison to other things, and is still high in fat.
  13. If you don't like coffee, you can get all the seasonal lattes without espresso!
  14. You can also get a tea misto or latte.
  15. They don't know how to make "The Secret Menu"
    Seriously. They don't. If you want to tell them exactly how to make a secret drink go ahead, but be prepared.
  16. How to deal with bad customers
  17. Be nice
    Seriously. Working at Starbucks is one of the most physically and mentally draining things I've ever had to do. Just be nice to the baristas! It will most likely pay off, I promise!
  18. If all else fails...
    There's always Peets.
  19. Stop making comments like "Sorry I'm so cranky/slow/out of it/space cadet! I haven't had my coffee yet!"
    Because the baristas haven't heard that line a billion times. Of every single workday morning.
    Suggested by @eatthelove