THINGS I BEMOANED ABOUT TO MY MOM ON THE PHONE TONIGHT
She is a saint.
- •"Take me off speakerphone I don't want to talk to Auntie Jane!"
- •"WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?"
- •"DO YOU EVER FIND A JOB YOU ACTUALLY LIKE?
- •"You mean people actually have jobs they don't hate?"
- •"CAN YOU JUST TELL IF IM NOT TALENTED?"
- •"I DONT THINK IM FUNNY ANYMORE."
- •"How about I move back to Portland? I could like, work at a winery or something?"
- •"Maybe I should've just converted to Mormonism when I had the chance."
- •"BE HONEST DO I ACT LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER? JUST FLAILING AROUND? CAUSE I FEEL LIKE THAT."
- •"I wish you still hated Olive. I'd move her back to Chicago. I KNOW I DONT HAVE TIME FOR A DOG."
- •"Of course I'm going to call you tomorrow! When have I ever not called you tomorrow?"