THINGS I DID WHEN I THOUGHT I LOST MY JOB LAST WEEK

  1. 1.
    Cried.
  2. 2.
    Called my parents.
  3. 3.
    Assured my parents that I was crying not because I'd, "been mugged and beaten on the streets of Chicago" as my mom had guessed but because I lost my job.
  4. 4.
    Was slightly annoyed when I told my parents I lost my job, and they were like, "oh that's not that bad."
  5. 5.
    Called Julianne.
    I KNOW SHES NOT WORKING WHY ISN'T SHE ANSWERING?
  6. 6.
    Called Ida.
    ARTISTS ARE THE MOST UNRELIABLE PEOPLE TO BE FRIENDS WITH.
  7. 7.
    Called Weslie.
    SHE ANSWERED NO ONE WILL EVER BE BETTER THAN HER
  8. 8.
    Realized Weslie was my only true friend.
  9. 9.
    Met Weslie for brunch.
  10. 10.
    Ate only the bread products from my breakfast platter.
  11. 11.
    Walked Weslie to her bike.
  12. 12.
    Realized her bike was stolen.
  13. 13.
    Concluded that the only reasonable way to deal with this day was to drink.
  14. 14.
    Felt incredibly judged being at the liquor store.
    I KNOW ITS NOT EVEN 11 am RAHEEM I DONT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW
  15. 15.
    Weslie and I each drank our own jumbo bottle of wine.
  16. 16.
    Watched Silver Linings Playbook.
    The saddest part of that movie is that Julia Styles is a supporting role.
  17. 17.
    Got a call from my boss.
  18. 18.
    Got offered my job back.
  19. 19.
    Learned I had actually not done anything wrong.
  20. 20.
    Despite my state of drunkenness, somehow managed to ask for a face to face meeting.
  21. 21.
    Agreed to meet at Starbucks.
  22. 22.
    Freaked out because I am now hammered and scheduled to meet with my boss.
  23. 23.
    Took a very cold shower.
  24. 24.
    Made Weslie go get pizza with me to absorb alcohol.
  25. 25.
    Ate two slices
    Cheese and BBQ chicken
  26. 26.
    Went to Starbucks and met boss
  27. 27.
    Accepted job again because I am broke.
  28. 28.
    Was still drunk.
  29. 29.
    Went to improv class.
  30. 30.
    Sent this text
    Suggested by   @oligear
  31. 31.
    Split my iced chai all over the cafe.
  32. 32.
    Moved on!