THINGS I LEARNED HAVING A STAGE MANAGER FOR A DAD

In honor of Father's Day
  1. If you're not five minutes early you're late.
    Constantly echoed to me when I was a kid. To his credit he made sure I was never late to a rehearsal of my own.
  2. Just take the fucking note.
    He applied this to real life too, especially in parenting. We're not gonna talk about why you chose to do something bad or wrong, just make a different choice next time.
  3. If you are the type of actor who doesn't respect your tech crew, don't be surprised when something goes wrong.
    This was very personal to him, because a lot of actors treat the tech people like garbage. I have always tried to see my relationship with the crew and techs as one where everyone benefits. I can't do what I do without them, and just because they are not onstage, doesn't mean they aren't artists in their own right.
  4. Leave your bullshit at the door.
    Applied to the rehearsal spaces, but also applicable to work, school, and relationships.
  5. The audition starts when you enter the building.
    Someone is always watching.
  6. Weird auditions aren't always bad.
    He always talks about two in particular. One where the actress sang "let's call the whole thing off" and didn't pronounce either of the words differently, and another where a guy did a monologue to a gallon of orange juice he brought with him. They called both of them back just to see what they would do.
  7. Don't be a diva.
    A VERY reputable broadway actress did a show at the theatre he worked at. She insisted the theatre have her wigs custom made, which ended up costing them thousands of dollars. In the end, she took all of them and never spoke to the anyone there again.
  8. The Sound of Music is the work of Satan.
    My dad stage managed this show and watched it 392 times. It was effectively banned in our house. Honest to god until I was 9 I thought it must have been rated R or something because of how he acted whenever it came on TV. And I was APPALLED that other parents let their kids watch it. During my shitty pre-teen years if I was mad at him I would barricade myself in my room and scream My Favorite Things as loud as I could.
  9. "Who gives a shit if someone is gay?"
    "I lived with a gay guy for 5 years and he never tried anything because I was straight. Just because guy is gay and you have a dick doesn't he wants to fuck you, Terry. Don't be so ignorant." Said to our super conservative neighbor who didn't want a gay couple moving in next door.
  10. Stand up for yourself.
    If you are in the right, it's ok to be your own advocate.
  11. "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke, and joke 'em if they can't take a fuck."
    Is what he tells me anytime I'm mad.
  12. If you think someone is cute, ask your director friend to cast them in a show you're working on.
    Literally how he and my mom started dating.