THINGS MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT SAID

I flew from Portland to Phoenix and then Phoenix to Chicago. I heard him say this twice.
  1. "There is no first class. This is southwest. Move along."
  2. "If you'd like to smoke, feel free to step out on to the wings. We are also showing two feature films on the wings today; Gone with the Wind and Bye Bye Birdie."
  3. "Please buckle your seat belts, the captain is going to be trying some new things."
  4. "Electronics must be in airplane mode. Not a la mode, not depeche mode. Don't try me or I will flush them down the commode."
  5. "Here is your cedar plank salmon and Krystal."
    Said when handing me peanuts and ginger ale.
  6. "Thank you for flying Southbest, it has been a job-I mean joy-to serve you tonight."
  7. When the plane landed he made very loud horse noises. Which a terrifying way to wake up.