THINGS MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT SAID
I flew from Portland to Phoenix and then Phoenix to Chicago. I heard him say this twice.
- •"There is no first class. This is southwest. Move along."
- •"If you'd like to smoke, feel free to step out on to the wings. We are also showing two feature films on the wings today; Gone with the Wind and Bye Bye Birdie."
- •"Please buckle your seat belts, the captain is going to be trying some new things."
- •"Electronics must be in airplane mode. Not a la mode, not depeche mode. Don't try me or I will flush them down the commode."
- •"Here is your cedar plank salmon and Krystal."Said when handing me peanuts and ginger ale.
- •"Thank you for flying Southbest, it has been a job-I mean joy-to serve you tonight."
- •When the plane landed he made very loud horse noises. Which a terrifying way to wake up.