WEDDING GOALS

If a girl tells you she doesn't daydream about her wedding, she's lying!
  1. My dad will walk me down the aisle
  2. At the end of the aisle he has to fight a robot version of himself.
    When he finally defeats him he yells, "NOT AT MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING YOU METAL BASTARD". Everyone claps.
  3. My dress is white.
    So white that it blinds all of my guests. That way they never see a bride who looks prettier than me because they never see another bride!
  4. At the end of the ceremony, the priest pulls of his wig to reveal that he, is in fact, a she.
  5. Pope Francis is in the audience and sees this, and decides that women can now be priests in the Catholic Church.
  6. As a result of this, I am canonized as Saint Lucy, patron saint of feminists.
    Way cooler than OG Saint Lucy, who is the patron saint of people with glasses.
  7. My husband and I take a new, hybrid last name.
    We tell it to no one. We wander the world as nameless entities until we are consumed back into the earth.
  8. Our reception is an under the sea theme.
    It is actually held under the sea. Turns out mermaids are real, and they all come party with me.
  9. Our first dance is a hip hop ballet number to 99 problems.
    BALLET IS EASY AND I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!
  10. My dead grandmother is actually alive and gives a toast.
  11. My sister gives a toast as well.
    It turns out she does exist! My parents were just hiding her in the attic this whole time!
  12. Every boy I ever liked is standing at the back of the reception. They are all sobbing because they missed out on marrying me.
    I give each of them a kiss on the cheek and whisper, "you'll find someone just as great as me!" BUT WE ALL KNOW THEY WON'T.
  13. As a wedding present, my husband has purchased me 12 pugs.
  14. We depart on our honeymoon in a new county that is a hybrid of Iceland, Tahiti, and White Fish, Montana.
  15. MY HUSBAND AND I ARE MARRIED FOREVER.
    IT TURNS OUT MARRIAGE IS EASY AND NOT TERRIFYING AT ALL!!