Best aspects of an airport experience
Undoubtedly one of the best parts of any holiday, good time management and careful organisation can lead to you having a whale of a time in an airport.
- •The greatest feeling of allThat moment when you've gotten rid of your suitcases, completed the security faff and you walk into the departures lounge free of all the burdens of travel and ready to enjoy yourself
- •Airport grubbinFrom the obligatory cooked breakfast prior to any flights before 14:30 to that fancy smoked salmon and champagne experience, an airport meal is a necessary highlight (even though you'll probably be fed within the first hour of the flight)
- •Cheeky bevsEveryone knows that time means nothing in a departure lounge which means boozin is acceptable (and positively encouraged) at any time of the night or day. Bonus points if you continue throughout the flight and have to be wheeled off in a wheelchair once you land in Shagaluf
- •Perusing the boozeEven if you're not going to buy it's always interesting to know that Captain Morgan's is selling duty free for £13 a bottle
- •Smelling perfumesThis starts out fun and games but ends with a horrible migraine, beware!
- •Trying on 100 pairs of sunglasses you're never going to buyAnd having the opportunity to really analyse the exact proportions of your face while you do it
- •Keeping a beady eye out for celebsYou bother to wear makeup for your flight because everyone knows Leo basically lives at Heathrow. Unfortunately the best you'll do is queuing behind Funda from Made in Chelsea season one in Accessorize.
- •Choosing your snacks and magazines in W H SmithsYou need: 2 glossies with sex tips and free gifts, 2 real life magazines, a puzzle book, a sandwich, crisps, sweets, chocolates, fizzy drink, chewing gum and that free bottle of water with The Telegraph
- •Buying an adaptor in BootsAnd perusing the miniatures while you're there. Probably buying some sort of hair mask to try and combat the Monica frizz.
- •Trying to get free cosmetics samplesDon't bother trying Mac, they will ignore you while they draw in their eyebrows for the 15th time that day, go straight to Kiel's and Jo Malone
- •Obligatory look around Harrod'sNo you'd never go into the actual shop and you definitely aren't going to buy anything but you need to know how much tourists are paying for a teddy bear these days
- •Imagining the life stories of the random groups of people you see aroundOne of which will inevitably end up at your hotel for awkward eye contact around the pool and one conversation at the airport on the way home about how you'll definitely be coming back to Crete