Requested by Eloise

Best Year Abroad Experiences

Living the Lizzie MacGuire dream in Italia
  1. Living with Fernando
    For he was the greatest cook I have ever met who insisted on feeding me pasta twice a day and didn't think a meal was complete unless you had a mighty slab of mozzarella or ricotta to finish. Also he came with Marta (his beautiful girlfriend), Tomasso (who can only be described as hapless) and a menagerie
  2. Finding out that Belgians love Geordie Shore
    And consequently making life long friends
  3. Experiencing the Bieber Renaissance in the Italian clüb
    Made all the better because his songs were the only ones played in English
  4. €3 bottles of wine
  5. Free crisps at every opportunity
  6. Seeing a bouncer who looked like Elliot Stabler and asking for a selfie
  7. Seeing really tall guy and asking for a selfie
    (Same night)
  8. Finding out that Venice doesn't smell as bad as you would think
    To be fair I have only been in the winter, will reassess at a later date
  9. Rescuing a suicidal turtle
    My reptilian roommate had hurled himself out of his tank and onto an armchair obviously with intentions of slipping away into the night. I swiftly returned him to the safety of the water after an hour of unwittingly sitting on him. Unfortunately he then turned the focus of his murderous ideals onto the fish and was subsequently moved into solitary confinement.
  10. Climbing to the top of the campanile in Florence and an American stranger pointing out the place where Kim and Kanye got married
    A life affirming experience in which I was filled with the spirit of Kanye
  11. Finding a shit on the floor of a Roman club toilet
    When I say club I'm pretty sure it was a rave in a secondary school. Went with people we met on the street after my friend's attempts at finding a good club via Tinder were unsuccessful. Stole a rosemary plant from one of the picnic benches in the playground.
  12. Realising when I was 5 minutes in to the carnival in Venice that I have not yet cured my fear of people in masks
  13. The Black Eyed Peas tribute act at College
    Weirdly not called Black Eyed Pisa
  14. Becoming a career woman
    In the Italian fashion industry no less 💅🏼
  15. Buying two pairs of Armani Jeans on my first day of work for €10 each
    Butt: model's own
  16. Free lunch at work every day
    And the hundreds of breadsticks consumed
  17. Meeting the potential love of my life on a bench
    He was impressed by the fact I was reading a book in English (before I admitted that I was English). I was impressed by his face. Unfortunately things were not meant to be as he had to move to Norway the next day to pursue his career as an electronica musician and I forgot his name instantly after I left the bench.
  18. Somehow winning a game of Cards Against Humanity in Italian even though I had no fucking clue what was going on
  19. Being saved by my prayers to the spirit of Sylvia Plath to keep me safe every time I lit my gas oven
    (So far)
  20. Somehow being talked into joining a gymnastics class and learning how to do a somersault
    Just call me Beth Tweddle
  21. Discovering piadine and my love for Lambrusco
    Also tigelle, cremino, cotolette etc etc etc
  22. Being mistaken for a prostitute
    There are only so many times you can say 'No I won't come with you. Not even for money. Not even for more money than initially offered.' Before you just have to turn around and hope the old man walks away.
  23. When a group of Chinese tourists asked for selfies with Hollie while we were having coffee in Florence
    Still waiting to see that she's become a meme in China
  24. Best Spritz I ever did have
    In an empty bar during the day
  25. When my mum came to visit and found a caterpillar in her salad
    I had momentary Italian amnesia and told the waiter, 'There's a live animal in the salad' (not untrue). We got free chocolate as compensation.
  26. When my Garundum Angels came to visit
    Being preemptive here