Favorite Stephen Colbert Quotes

  1. "You're only as ugly as we think you are."
  2. "Don't think of it as being a snitch. Think of it as betraying the retarded."
  3. "Try being something more realistic. Like a paperweight."
  4. "I saw something so I said something. But what I said wasn't what I saw."
  5. "I always say cleanliness is next to godliness. Mostly because I have an extremely abridged dictionary."