SHITTY BEACHES

  1. That one place where the snack bar's 'surf and Turf' was a stick of jerky and some washed up driftwood
  2. That place where kids kept making Sand Castles with their minds
  3. That one* beach where everyone is prettier and happier than you
  4. *every
  5. That beach where the surfers are just really 'gnarly' postmodernists
  6. Any beach with one of those 'shower' things
  7. That beach where the old people just kind of stand still and be old in a higher climate
  8. Any beach where the life guard is "not feelin' it today'
  9. That one beach with a playground and a sandbox because some people are just dumb
  10. That beach that eats children
  11. Revere