Advice my dad gave me today: Serbian accent edition.
Dad and I went for a drive and here's some of the advice he gave me.
- •You need to find man. I sure you not lesbian, but you need to find man. Try 200 times and maybe 201 would be good man.
- •Fuck this shit. Your mom is like her mom and they all fucking crazy. Her side is crazy. We smart and pretty on my side. You listen to me.
- •If you have no money, I believe you. You're like gentleman only you lady. You are nice to people and give stuff. Don't give to your sister. She lie.
- •Me: "Dad, I like how you always inspire and make me feel like I am better than the jerks in my life"Dad: You iz better! Fuck this shit. I no have time for stupid people. You no have time for stupid people. Tell them all to fuck off. If they piss you off, hit bitch! That's what I did in my country.
- •I know you like gypsy, but you getting old. Time to figure out life. Time is ticking.