TOP DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDY
If you are too young to know what these are, I feel bad for you. It must suck to be young.
- •"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind." Basically, it's made up of two separate words, mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."
- •"To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks.""
- •"If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away."
- •"If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I’d say Flippy, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, though. It’s Hambone."
- •"Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis."
- •"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
- •"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
- •"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
- •"If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did.""