My Friend John Is Here for 5 Weeks From Montana

This list will include mostly us yelling at each other about life choices- ongoing
  1. Activity #1- John cons Alyssa into picking him up at the airport
    I DO NOT pick people up from the airport. Ever. Seinfeld has taught me well. John hates this. He was late to his flight from MONTANA and his luggage went on another airline. He's an idiot and took the shuttle from terminal B to A. The shuttle doesn't go in reverse alphabet order. I repeat. I do not do airport pickups. (Sidenote: I live 15 glorious minutes from the airport) He called crying from the off airport rental car pick up. I now do airport pickups.
  2. Activity #2- We wear my collection of wigs around Beacon Hill
    John loves a Halloween and we had planned a couples costume. (Reno 911) I hate my wig. We get drunk and walk to 7 11 in wigs whilst FaceTiming our friend Sal. This is where we ended up.
  3. Activity #3 Halloween
    He yells at me for trying to get out of our couples costume.
  4. Activity #4 Apartment cleaning
    We like to get drunk and he cleans my apartment while I yell at him that he has no sentimentality.
  5. Activity #5 Visiting the Burbs
    John is my best friend from college's best friend from growing up. She lives 20 minutes away in the burbs and just built an amazing fire pit. We burned half of the stuff John purged from my apartment in that pit.
  6. Activity #6 John takes my car and never picks me up at work
    To be honest this is an ongoing activity. He's galavanting all over the city- chronically getting a 2 hour late start, and then tells me to walk home and he'll meet me there. This has happened twice so far, he's been here a week.
  7. Activity #7 John goes to Harvard Square
    While John was refusing to pick me up at work he zipped over to Harvard Square, met some dude, ate a taco with him, wandered around the Harvard Yard, had sex, showered and had sex again. This was all while he was supposed to be picking me up.
  8. Activity #8 John and I go to Kowloon
    I'm a Kowloon virgin! It's this amazingly trashtastic Chinese food place on route one in Saugus. Keno and Mai tais for hours! Things that happened includes us reading the Kris Jenner article in Ny magazine out loud and talking about John's sexual escapades while scratching $1 scratch tickets with the back of a Keno pencil. Pretty sure we were over served.