People I Will Not Be Friends With

  1. "Oh I don't even own a TV"
    I live in a 500 square foot apartment and have 2 tvs that are constantly on. Sometimes the same channel. Sometimes not. We will not be friends.
  2. "I only shop at Whole Foods."
    I shop anywhere they sell food. We will not be friends.
  3. "I'm all done with my Christmas shopping!" (Said in July)
    I mean you are? I'm at the beach. We will not be friends.
  4. "Oh you drink boxed wine...?"
    Yes- yes I do. Don't even bother trying to be friends with me.
  5. "Tom Hanks is a horrible actor."
    I celebrate his entire collection. He is a dream. Don't ever speak to me again. We will not be friends.
  6. "I don't like cheese."
    Can this person even exist? We will not be friends.