"Let's Have a Charcuterie Plate" panics

  1. What kind of board/plank/plate should you use?
  2. What kind of cheese do you buy?
  3. Are all the "salame"s the same?
  4. Don't people just prefer salted wheat crackers and water crackers?
    Why are there ten different ones in the variety pack?
  5. What if people don't even like cheese like I don't?
  6. How do you even cut cheese for a cheese plate?
    Thank god for Google
  7. How snooty are your friends, for real?
    Will they judge my amateur attempt?
  8. "Oh, they are bringing Cards Against Humanity with them?"
    Why did I bother? They want potato chips and beer.