What happens when you let me out of the bubble

AKA the epic list of injuries
  1. I think it started hanging out of one of these (except it was the 80s so less safe)
    My brother fell off the bike on one of his usual occupy-the-little-sister run.
  2. I fell through the ice at a skating pond
    They made me strip my clothes off and sit in a towel by a fire in the ski lodge. I was 7. I felt super embarrassed and got mad when they kept taking my temperature
  3. I broke my arm in an epic butt-knee war on a trampoline at 11
    I tried to hide the extent of my injury because I was not supposed to be on a trampoline with other people. Then I couldn't take my pants off to go to the bathroom. So the charade was up
  4. Not me...but I cut my ex-boyfriend's head open after I fell snowboarding with the actual snowboard
  5. I broke my wrist trying to take a snowboarding lesson so I could fulfill my goal of learning to snowboard before I was 31.
    That did not happen.
  6. I fell off my rental bike on the Venice Beach boardwalk.
    The road rash required medical attention. The picture is too gross to share. And the scars still remain.
  7. I broke my ankle hiking in a canyon in New Mexico.
    It required a rescue, but we are not talking a movie script scenario. It also required surgery....
  8. Most recently, I was rear-ended at a high rate of speed.
    Now that could be a movie; it made the news! Man hit me and continued across the road and into two parked cars, a retaining wall, and a t-mobile store.
  9. Moral of the story:
    I have narrowed down appropriate physical activity. And never go snowboarding.
  10. I know many ways to deal with problems that arise after injury.
    Exhibit A: