Reasons I might (okay fine I DEFINITELY) have road rage issues

Every time I drive around Los Angeles it takes at least 12 full hours off my life.
  1. I hate everyone when I'm driving.
    Go through a yellow light? Hate you if you're blocking me from making a left hand turn. Don't go through? I hate you because I'm behind you and JUST WANT TO DRIVE!! Get behind the wheel of a car I'm not in? Probably hate you.
  2. Parking drives me mad.
    Valet is like giving someone your first born. Trying to find street parking is like bashing your head against a brick wall over and over again. I want a car that folds up and fits in my pocket.
  3. I think people who don't stop FULLY at stop signs are giant buttwads.
    Honestly, I've almost been run over approx 12(thousand) times while on walks / runs because of the bullshit "California roll." You guys, that shouldn't be a thing enough to have its own term. STOP signs are pretty fucking self-explanatory, no?
  4. This isn't actually a reason, but best day of my life was when a good friend of mine was super confused on how I was getting somewhere (this was pre-Uber) and I was like, um, driving? And he was like "wait... You have your license?!!" I
    I was so proud of myself.
  5. Basically, in order to live a long and fruitful life, I need a chauffeur.
    Or self-driven car. Whatever. This is for the greater good.