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I've not seen the film, only the trailer, yet I feel entirely confident in my opinions.
  1. The CG
    Fuck off.
  2. Every single word spoken aloud
    Fuck off.
  3. The Orc men are big and butch but the Orc women look like human pornstars but with worse teeth
    Fuck off.
3 more...
  1. 1.
    Little toes.
    Definitely first to go. You'd barely even notice. Mine don't even touch the ground. You could still run and I don't wear open toe sandals so I think I'd hardly even notice. Plus feet are gross anyway.
  2. 2.
    Ears.
    Just grow my hair long.
  3. 3.
    Little fingers.
    Sure people would be able to see, but I think I've missed my chance at being a concert pianist now anyway so I reckon this would be fine. Homer Simpson only has three fingers and a thumb and as far as I can tell his life is just one long hilarious adventure.
  4. 4.
    Left eye.
    A lot of people choose this so they could look like a pirate, but those people are idiots anyway because to look like a pirate you have to also lose a leg (either above or below the knee, up to you) and a hand. I think without the distraction of binocular vision I'd finally be able to focus on my dream of becoming a cinematographer.
  1. 9 noises I make when pretending to listen to people
  2. 6 regrets I think about daily which make me clench my bum cheeks together
  3. 14 brilliant app ideas I had that have already made someone else a millionaire
7 more...