20 THINGS I DID NOT LEARN IN MY FIRST 20 YEARS OF LIFE

I turn 20 tomorrow and I don't know shit
  1. 1.
    How to spell most words correctly
    Most of the time I know all the letters I just don't know what order they go in. I always laugh if off when it comes up but sometimes it really frustrates me. So much so that for a while I had a document with words I struggle with saved so I could copy and paste them.
  2. 2.
    How to change the oil in a car
    There was a time when I was 16 that I knew because my uncle was in town and he showed me but I've forgot since. I'm sure I could figure it out if I needed to but I wouldn't confidently go around declaring that I can do it.
  3. 3.
    Math
    I took three remedial math classes between sixth and ninth grade. I was signed up for summer school too but it was the same week as our one family vacation of the year so my mom didn't make me go. There are certain aspects that I understand (basic addition, subtraction, multiplication, not division) but most of it is like a foreign language to me. It's a shame because I like math, I think solving problems is fun, I just can't go it 95% of the time.
  4. 4.
    Why some people are so mean
    I spent a lot of time trying to figure this out when I was in high school. I didn't, and I still don't, understand why some people feel the need to be so mean all the time. My best friend was mean, her friends were mean, I'd like to think that I was never mean but when you're that age it is very easy to get sucked into gossip and talking about people who aren't there to defend themselves so I'm sure at times I was mean. I don't get the point of it all.
  5. 5.
    How to efficiently manage my time
    I could have six weeks to do something and I would put it off until the last ten minutes. As long as a I know that I still have time I just don't do things. Every science fair project I ever did was done the night before it was due in a whirlwind of faked data and exhausted tears. I don't know why I do it to myself but I do, over and over and over again.
  6. 6.
    How to play the piano
    A year worth of lessons and I can play four chords of a Beatles song. I think it ties into the whole "bad at math" thing, music and math and things of that nature do not come easily to me.
  7. 7.
    How to dress myself like a real person
    When I was in high school I wore the same pair of American Eagle jeans paired with a different hoodie everyday. I actually just recently learned that American Eagle is not the only company in the world that produces jeans. Now I either dress like a toddler or a benchwarmer on the high school track team.
  8. 8.
    How to protect my mom from the world
    My mom is so kind and the world is so rough. She deserves happiness and comfort in every form and I don't know how to give that to her.
  9. 9.
    How to paint
    For a while I really wanted a talent and I swore I was going to become a painter. Now I only paint when I get drunk and it's never any good.
  10. 10.
    What to do when someone dislikes me
    Everyone wants to be liked but not everyone is going to like you, that's just life. I'm still trying to figure out how to be unapologetically myself and not care who does and doesn't like me. It's a fucking process.
  11. 11.
    How to show my friends how much I love them
    Emotions and feelings make my entire body feel like wet spaghetti, but I also think that it's really important to show people how much they mean to you. I'm trying to find the least uncomfortable way to say that I got mad love for all of them.
  12. 12.
    How to make pasta
    Speaking of pasta...this sounds so dumb but every time I try to make pasta everything either sticks together or turns to mush. I don't know what's wrong with me but I know that it shouldn't be this hard. (The actual pasta and the pasta making process)
  13. 13.
    How to take care of my nails
    I trim them a lot? I have zero knowledge when it comes to nail care and it shows. I don't want to be this way, I just don't know how to treat them the way they deserve to be treated.
  14. 14.
    How to wear a hat
    They don't look cute on me and I want to know whyyyyyy.
  15. 15.
    Anything about stocks
    Once I accidentally opened the stock app on my phone and it confused me so much that I panicked and tried to delete the app. I have yet to need to understand stocks but it stresses me out that they're just out there, rising and falling and all that.
  16. 16.
    Why I hate mustard so much
    It physically repulses me. My hate for it is irrational and unjustified but it's there.
  17. 17.
    What to do when a person interacts with me in a ~flirty~ manner.
    I've been on one official date. In the first ten minutes I told him that my dad and brother are dead and then I dropped an entire taco on my lap. I have yet to venture back out into the dating pool because I don't trust myself.
  18. 18.
    Why Willy Wonka was so angry with Charlie
    Why does this random ass boy mean so much to him? I understand that he expected more from Charlie but why?? Why Charlie??
  19. 19.
    How to politely decline a flyer from someone on the street
    I don't want it but I'll take it but I really don't want it.
  20. 20.
    How to bend List App to my will
    I had a whole plan to take over the world with the following I built on List App and I just don't think 600 people is enough. I appreciate every single one of you but I don't know if we could over throw every currently standing institution in order to put me in power.