APPLIANCES I DON'T TRUST

  1. Toaster ovens
    I've never owned a toaster oven because the only thing I know about them is that they can catch on fire really easily.
  2. Toasters
    One minute everything is fine, the next minute something is burning
  3. This thing
    I just saw this when I searched toaster ovens and it stressed me out
  4. Microwaves
    I never put anything in a microwave for longer than 2 minutes. The Great Bagel fire started by @CoachK really left me scarred.
  5. Fancy can openers
    We've had the same slightly rusted can opener since the 1990s and I refuse to use any of these new age openers
  6. Roombas
    Get OUT OF HERE. We had one and it scared me shitless every time it would come shooting out from under the couch. It was out to get me.
  7. Dryers
    My dryer always puts tiny holes in my shirts. Dryers also hold a lot of fire starting potential.
  8. Ovens
    Catch me at 3 am walking downstairs to see if the oven is off, even if it hasn't been used that day.
  9. Gas ovens
    There will NEVER be a gas oven in my house, ever. Installing a self destruct switch right in your own home.
  10. Energy efficient light bulbs
    I don't know if this counts as an appliance but I do know that if you break one poison gas gets released and everyone dies.
  11. Smoke detectors
    Appliance? I don't know. Demon sent from Satan to start beeping in the middle of the night for no reason resulting in a very anxious rest of the nights sleep? Yep.