CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE BUT OH MY GOD ARE THEY GROSS

When I'm at home and not at college barely managing to keep myself alive I work at a daycare center and am responsible for keeping children alive. They're disgusting.
  1. I lost count of the amount of times I was sneezed on today.
    Children give no fucks. They will take their virus infested snot and spray it all over you with no regard for your health or hygiene.
  2. Several children walked up to me and wiped their noses on my sweater.
    Right across the front, and then they walk away as though they didn't just ruin my sweater and immune system
  3. Sometimes they just vomit
    I guess the actual phrase is "spit up" but either way liquid comes out of their mouth and lands on my pants
  4. They get really close to you and cough all over your face
    Unlike sneezing, which is usually a one time thing, coughing can last for a couple minutes and produce a lot of snot and other fluids
  5. They try and kiss you which is cute until you notice the snot all over their nose and mouth and face in general
    Snotty little monsters who trick you with kisses but really are infecting you with strep throat
  6. They keep food in their mouth for hours
    Almost two hours after lunch a child walked up to me, took some corn out of his mouth and handed it to me. Love it.
  7. "I pooped!"
    Guhhreeaatt!