I FAILED AND IT SUCKED BUT IT WAS ALSO KIND OF GREAT

  1. My school is known for its arts programs. It's our claim to fame. When I applied I had every intention of going into the arts program to major in Cinema. I knew that the program was competitive so instead of risking not getting into the school at all I applied as an undeclared major with the intention of transferring into arts my sophomore year.
  2. My plan work and I got accepted. First semester of freshman year I got all of my Gen Eds out of the way and was ready to pursue film. Second semester I started taking all the film classes I could without be in the major. I was really happy with the classes I was taking and what I was learning.
  3. Halfway through second semester I started my application for the Cinema program. I met with my advisor on a regular basis and mapped out the next three years of my life. I was beyond excited to study film. Since I was a kid I had a love for making little movies. My friends and I used to act out the movies in my basement with no camera to record it.
  4. I wrote an essay about why I wanted to be in the program and what I hoped to gain from it and I wrote a synopsis for a film I wanted to make. I felt good about my writing and I was confident when I submitted my application.
  5. During the summer I waited for my letter. I told everyone at work that I was studying film when they asked. I felt good about my chances. I liked knowing what the next couple years held for me in terms of school.
  6. My letter finally came, it was the little one. A single page that regretted to inform me that I did not meet the standards for the program. I remember standing in the street in front of my house, the same place I stood when I found out I got into the school the summer before, and trying not to cry. They rejected me. I wasn't good enough. I failed.
  7. My mom tried to cheer me up by making me guacamole. We sat on our deck eating guacamole and ragging on the program that rejected me. At one point my mom asked me why I wanted to study film in the first place and I told her that I wanted to tell stories. She told me I'd be pretty dumb to let a rejection letter tell me I can't do that.
  8. It was there on the deck eating guacamole with my mom that I realized that I hadn't failed. Getting accepted into the program was something that I really wanted, or at least thought I wanted. Looking back I didn't love my film classes as much as I told myself I did. They were interesting and I learned a lot but I also found myself getting bored.
  9. I didn't really care about German cinema or the theory of film evolution. I just like stories and they're are a million different ways to tell stories.
  10. So now I'm a sophomore and I'm on track to study journalism. I'm still taking a film studies class and I might even minor in World Cinema but it isn't my main path anymore. Who knows maybe one day I'll make some movies but for right now I just want to tell stories that people want to hear.
  11. I got rejected from a program I thought I needed and as a result figured out what I really want to do. What's that saying about failure leading to success? Insert that here.