MEET THE CAST OF THE PLAY THE FOUR YEAR OLD I'M BABYSITTING HAS BEEN PERFORMING FOR AN HOUR

  1. Barbie
    Barbie really has her life together. They all think that she's the coolest thing since sliced bread. She wears designer clothes and always has perfect hair. She has only been used in one scene and has spent the rest of the time sitting in the background judging everyone else.
  2. Stacey
    Stacey is a mess. She can't ride the pony because she's too big and might crush it. She wants to be a princess but can't because she doesn't have a princess dress. Sometimes I feel bad for Stacey but then I remember that she really does it to herself.
  3. Pony
    Pony is friends with everyone. She's really the peacekeeper in the whole community. Pony lets everyone have a turn riding on her back and flying into the sky except not the big people because she doesn't want to be smushed.
  4. Cinderella
    She seems to really have it all together but her and I both know it's just a front. She hasn't been herself since Barbie showed up and out shined her.
  5. Chelsea
    I believe Chelsea is the daughter of Stacey. Clearly the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. She's allowed to ride on Pony because she's tall but not big enough to squash her.
  6. Anna
    Anna has not been picked up once since this production started. She merely sits off to the side, naked, and probably afraid.
  7. Cinderelly
    Okay between us Cinderelly is a real bitch. She's always pushing friends and riding on Pony's back without asking. She thinks she's hot shit because she's related to Cinderella. Clearly she didn't get the memo about Cinderella's fall from grace.
  8. Mommy
    Mommy is under a lot of stress trying to care for all these children. All her kids do is ask if they can ride on Pony's back and go to the playground. She always says yes. It's hard being a single mom but she's does it with grace and flawless eye makeup.
  9. Anya
    Anya is the only character that I'm allowed to touch. She spends a lot of time at the playground jumping up and down. She's exhausted. She's also kind of a pushover.